Let me tell you about last Wednesday…
The health visitor was due to arrive at 10am. At 9.30am I started what was to become a tidy of truly epic scale and, in the process, nudged the giant frames off the unit. I grabbed them with what were surely lightning reactions to avoid them smashing into the floor but in the process knocked the enormous vase onto its side whereupon it slowly but surely emptied (almost certainly) gallons of water onto my feet, the rug and the surrounding area. Gallons of water spreads surprisingly far on a hardwood floor reaching under units and into corners one would not have thought possible.
During the now considerably more in depth clean up I noticed spots of blood on the floor. I checked my hands but nothing. Then I noticed the brown dog furiously licking himself… down there. A tentative check revealed a wound, caused by I know not what, gushing onto the floor – I am not being dramatic here, it was akin to an extremely drippy tap. Now if you have ever been fortunate enough to experience attempting to stem the flow of blood to your dog’s nether regions then you know just how straight forward and dignified that moment can be. It was 9.55am. I did what any sensible, grown woman in her thirties would do. I phoned my mum.
The bleeding stopped, the health visitor came and went and I dialled the number of the vet to determine if it was necessary for them to see the dog (who by this point had no noticeable signs of anything having ever occurred). A quick and entirely awkward explanation of events to the receptionist and she went to fetch the vet who picked up the phone, ‘Hello, this is the vet on duty – my name is Willy’. Seriously.
And so, with days like these, you will understand why it is absolutely essential that I keep a good stock of basic neutrals in my closet. Because my brain matter is depleting at a rapid rate and neutrals always match everything and nothing both at once.
So here I am with a delightfully neutral checked coat and the neutral knit I have thrown on three days straight (not least because of the reminder that ‘la vie est belle’). And because obviously I need more burgundy footwear in my life and also because, in my opinion, it is the AW colour that matches perfectly with neutrals as well as every other colour, suede booties… which pair nicely with that interchangeable leather bag strap from Gweniss, a rather lovely Scottish born brand.
In conclusion, if you’re having a ‘left holding your dog’s d*ck’ kinda day, wear neutrals.
coat – Next | knit – Sugarhill Boutique (on sale)
jeans – Zara | alexa boots – Boden (on sale)
riley saddle bag & isla strap – Gweniss
aries zodiac pendant – Rox x Catherine Zoraida
love pendant – Astley Clarke
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